Mom burnout is often overlooked, but it’s a very real phenomenon affecting a large percentage of mothers. The increased demands on children are passed onto mothers. They, in turn, add these demands to their already overflowing to-do lists. In her aptly titled book, Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children in the Process, Dr. Sheryl G. Ziegler examines some of the possible causes of stress associated with being a mom. She also identifies some very helpful steps on how to recover from mom burnout.
Burnout can stem from many factors and manifest itself in many ways. Ziegler goes over many possible causes and practical solutions, but we’ll go over just a couple takeaways so we don’t ruin the book for you.
Isolation can cause mom burnout
While raising children, it’s easy to get wrapped up in our daily lives. This preoccupation can cause isolation and create a feeling of distance between you and your friends from your “former” life. You might feel like your social skills have become rusty after being without adult company for so long. It can seem daunting to reach out to old friends when you don’t feel up-to-date on the news and pop culture, and your mind is only filled with stories about the baby or trying to remember the thing you forgot because of mom brain. You start to wonder what you would even discuss with your old work friends.
However, these friendships are necessary for social nourishment and just maintaining your sanity, humor and perspective. Friends, especially mom friends, can help you evaluate and weigh things, such as your happiness, your workload, or your expectations for yourself, your child, or partner, to name a few. Friends not only provide comfort, but they also make great sounding boards. They can lend a listening ear, which might not be a role that your spouse can always fill. So, try to carve out time to see friends and meet other moms for coffee to recharge, vent or just exchange perspectives. The extra effort might seem overwhelming, but it can do wonders to remedy burnout. Only through true vulnerability will you find out if you’re the only one going through what you’re going through or feeling this way. And, we bet you aren’t.
Trying to find the “perfect” option can cause mom burnout
Modern life brings so many options for everything. Usually, it is way too many-leaving you overwhelmed and in “fight or flight” mode when it comes to decision-making. Do you “fight” and do more than the necessary research? Or do you go into “flight” mode and put off the whole task of deciding entirely? Sometimes, even after you finally decide what to get, all the choices have you second-guessing your decision. For a manual reset to your nervous system when you’re in “fight or flight” mode, see this post on taking belly breaths.
Ziegler suggests shifting our mindset from what is “the best” to what works best for the family. For any decisions you have to make in the next week, she recommends trying to limit yourself to 3 options. So, instead of doing your usual endless comparison shopping for the best of the best, pick 3 good options and choose 1. Then, Ziegler challenges you to evaluate how it impacted your research process and the outcome. She believes you’ll find that limiting your options won’t affect the outcome significantly, but will relieve you of the burden of extensive research.
Other causes of burnout
Mommy Burnout provides a lot of insight into what could be causing these feelings of overwhelm and exhaustion. Ziegler identifies often overlooked sources of stress, which helps alleviate some of the mental baggage you can unwittingly put on yourself. She provides multiple solutions because she understands not all moms face the same exact situations. Ziegler also points out that what we do is a model for our children and taking care of ourselves is best for our children now and their future. What better motivator is there than that?
If you feel the least bit overwhelmed with motherhood, we highly recommend even reading just the sections that you believe pertain to you. If you have more time, all the chapters were full of useful insights, and you may be surprised by other sources of burnout affecting you. Lastly, it’s just nice to know that you aren’t alone in how you feel and that these feelings are more common than we know.
Learn more about Dr. Sheryl G. Ziegler or follow her on Instagram
Read more posts about Mind where we discuss strategies for maintaining mental balance.
At Such Is Motherhood, our curated picks are always independently selected. When you buy something through our affiliate links, we may earn a small commission. This does not affect the price you pay and helps us cover the cost of running this site. Sometimes, we provide links solely for your convenience, for which we won’t receive any compensation. Our goal is only to suggest the most notable products. Listed prices may change after publication. See full policy.
