When it comes to learning something new like TikTok or Pilates, it’s hard to find a good teacher who possesses the forbearance to direct you properly. When you have an incompatible teacher, it can be discouraging and often make you want to give up. In this installment of Wisdom from a Mom Friend, a friend reminds us that we have to be a teacher who really is patient. A grandma friend told us about her sweet grandson who cheerfully guides her on how to use new technology, and she went on to say:
“You have to find someone who really is patient and not just someone pretending to be patient.”
Linda S.
That said, this advice applies to when we teach things to our kids as well. Providing good instruction is difficult as most of the things we do, we do instinctively. It can be easy to lose your cool when you’re reminding your kids to practice a skill that you’ve mindlessly done all your life. You may have to review tasks with them multiple times a day. And, when you’re tired and spread thin, it can be maddening.
And, this feeling of Groundhog’s day can also make you question if it’s getting through. Dr. Becky Kennedy, who always provides the most insightful, child-centered wisdom, naturally had some wisdom to share on the matter. On her must-listen podcast “Good Inside with Dr. Becky,” she notes, “But just remember, we have to help our kids build skills over and over and over again before we even see an inkling of the impact it has on them.”
She further explains that we have to provide guidance “many, many times before you see that work convert on a play date. And I think that part of parenting just isn’t talked about enough. That yes, we have these strategies. And yes, to some degree, we have an image of kind of the impact that we’ll have on our child. But, the gap between impact and intervention is wide. That doesn’t mean you have a bad kid. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. It just means it takes a lot of repetition to build skills and also that the path is never linear.”
So, as our friend said, we have to be a teacher who really is patient and not just pretending to be patient. Of course, many of you probably already knew that. However, it’s a great reminder to us to be calm and understanding with our little ones. And perhaps, one day, they’ll good-naturedly teach us how to use the next social media craze.
