In this issue of Wisdom from a Mom Friend, we discuss taking a break for yourself, even when your caregiver options are limited or aren’t ideal.
Recently, a mom friend shared this surprising reply from her friend:
“I bring up the book Miss Nelson is Missing for you, not her.”
Kathy M.
Miss Nelson is Missing tells the story about a gentle teacher with a very unruly class. One day, she disguises herself as a stern substitute teacher who doesn’t allow for misbehavior and piles on the schoolwork. Upon her return, the children appreciate the soft teacher that is Miss Nelson.
Our mom friend was being told that while sometimes, it’s a compromise to let a family member watch the little ones, perhaps the contrast might do the children some good. Letting someone else watch your children may not always be about giving up control or being a helicopter parent. Perhaps, your choices for available caregivers aren’t as patient with your child’s strong will or boundary-pushing phase. Or maybe, they don’t have the same views on nutrition, screen-time or respectful parenting as you do.
However, that doesn’t mean you can take care of them solely by yourself. You can’t parent 24/7 without it taking a toll on your mental health. And, if you don’t replenish your mental and physical energy, it can take a toll on your relationship with your children as well. So, if your kids (and you) have to learn to deal with an imperfect (but completely safe) caregiver and you desperately need the me-time, perhaps, you should run out and get that manicure, haircut or coffee with a friend. If anything, perhaps they will appreciate you more when you get back, just like Miss Nelson’s students.
